WWE Fastlane 2017 Review

Pre Show Thoughts

Austin Aries is a genius behind the microphone. He and Corey Graves could call a cake cutting at a 5 year olds birthday party and make me want to watch it. 

The kick off show is good for people that don't want to watch the weekly shows because it does delve into the history of each match but it needs to be tighter. If they want to have all this build up then move the matches to the main show and take the highlights out of it. I would want to watch the kick off more if this was the only place I could see the match history.

It's been fun watching Cesaro and Shemus come together as friends and embrace their different levels of fan support. I want to see more of this Cesaro. Watching him all fired up and feeling slighted would do wonders for his career.

The backstage segments should not be part of a PPV. Save that sillyness for the weekly shows. Interviews are fine but the rest of this garbage should just go away.

And Now on to the show..........

Sami Zayn vs Somoa Joe

Highlights:

Joe drops Zayn with a straight right jab.

Sami hits a Blue Thunder Bomb on Joe for a two count

Winner: Samoa Joe by submission

Grade: 2 Stars

Thoughts:

Very disappointing match. It honestly never felt like it got started. I really hope this is the start of a rivalry and not a one off match because these two have proven to be much better than this during their time in NXT.

Bayley Interview

One negative and a reason that Bayley should have stayed in NXT is her obvious lack of mic skills. Thankfully Nia Jax came in to save the segment.

Tag Team Title Match - Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs The Club

Highlights:

"Enzo, this guy is like the Avian Flu, he comes around and I get physically ill" - Corey Graves

"From behind you two look like a couple thumbs up" - Enzo

Winner: Anderson and Gallows by pinfall 

Grade: 1 1/2 stars

Thoughts:

If there was ever a team in need of a heel turn it is Enzo and Cass. There promos have become so cookie cutter and filled with cliches and cheap pops I feel like I am watching an unfunny Mick Foley from 2001. Enzo is so good on the mic it would be good to let him shine much like the Road Dogg was able to in the 90's. The match was actually worse than the promo which considering the talent involved is very disappointing. Second straight match that never felt like it got out of first gear. This followed the usual tag team formula. Weak link of the face team gets beaten down only to make the hot tag to the powerhouse and the heels retained their belts by screwing over the good guys. Bad over used formula, zero chemistry and a couple really tired gimmicks. Pretty sad when my thoughts section is triple the size of the highlights section. Not a good start for a show billed as the kick-off to Wrestlemania.

Mick Foley and Stephanie backstage segment.

This awfulness of the good guy gm fighting the evil boss is equally as tiring as Enzo's face promo's. Bottom line Stephanie is stuck at the airport and Mick is running the show despite Steph not trusting him.

Nia Jax vs Sasha Banks

Highlights:

Sasha with a guiltine choke that Nia powers out of and flips Sasha unto her back into a sleeper hold.

Nia powers out of a Banks Statement 

Nia plants Sasha with a spike body slam

Sasha surprises Nia with a roll up into a bridge for the win

Winner: Sasha Banks by pinfall

Grade: 3 1/2 Stars

Thoughts:

This was a very good big vs little match. Nia Jax controlled the majority of the match and looked good doing it. This is a rivalry I wish would continue. Unfortunately the impending heel turn of Sasha will probably be the end of it but I could watch this type of match every month. Nia may still be a little green around the edges but she is definitely getting there. So far the best match of the show.

Jinder Mahal and Rusev make their way to the ring after a pre show segment that only served to show off Rusev's new haircut. The two former tag partners were sent to the ring to await opponents set up by Mick Foley. They were supposed to work it out themselves which in true WWE fashion led to a brawl and Jinder Mahal stood tall to get the first match.

Cesaro vs Jinder Mahal

Highlights

Cesaro and Shemus are gelling well together and their budding friendship is fun to watch. I really enjoy their entrance.

Cesaro with a one armed suplex

Cesrao with a pop up uppercut for the win.

Winner: Cesaro by Pinfall

Grade:  2 3/4 Stars

Thoughts:

Why??? Why was Mahal allowed on a PPV much less in a fairly decent match? Why was he given more time to shine then people that deserve to be here? Why did I actually kind of enjoy this match? Cesaro is a machine and should be much higher on the card then he is. That being said this match should never have happened.

Then Rusev got up and another brawl broke out with Rusev standing tall for his reward

Big Show vs Rusev

Highlights:

Final Cut by Big Show (haven't seen that move in years)

Big show pulled the straps down and for the first time in seven years I didn't run in horror afraid to get hit by a man boob

Winner: Big Show by Pinfall

Grade: 2 Stars

Thoughts:

Big Show looked very impressive. Too bad it's 2017 and the WWE has spent years making us not care about him. Rusev had about 35 seconds worth of offense and  this match was more of a way to get the two on a PPV leading up to Wrestlemania then a display of their talents. It wasn't horrible but never should have happened.

Kevin Owens Interview

This is a reminder of why Kevin Owens can be the best heel in the business. This is the Kevin Owens we haven't seen since he won the Universal Title. Such a welcome relief from this horrible slimy can't win without help sorry excuse for a heel that most heel champs become in WWE.

Cruiserweight Championship - Gentleman Jack Gallagher vs Neville

Highlights:

Gallagher does a couple of headstands in the corner to the delight of the fans.

Gallagher dives through the second rope with a move that Austin Aries calls the wounded duck ploncha 

Neville hits a sickening release German suplex with Gallagher bouncing off the ropes.

Neville hits a Phoenix Splash

Running headbutt from Gallagher

Neville hits a Red Arrow after Gallagher almost knocks him out with a headbutt on the top rope

Winner: Neville by Pinfall

Grade: 3 1/2 Stars

Thoughts:

Easily the match of the night so far. Gallagher is so much fun to watch in every aspect of the wrestling world and Neville is such a great heel. I love the fact that Neville has gotten away from his high flying antics to be this more ruthless and relentless powerhouse. Jack showed a different side of himself and came off as a tough resilient face that has a really bright future. The match itself was a lot of fun and this is the type of match and time needed to get the Cruiserweight division over. Still the best part was Austin Aries' "Package" that proceeded it. Looks like his return to the ring will be sooner rather than later. It's nice to see the greatest man that ever lived back in the ring although I will miss his greatness behind the microphone.

Paul Heyman Interview

Why can't they figure out a way to get Paul Heyman more involved. In 5 minutes on the screen he instantly got me excited to see what is sure to be a train wreck at Wrestlemania between Lesnar and Goldberg.

New Day comes to the ring for random silliness

Much like Enzo and Cass this trio is in desprate need of a makeover. They have charisma is spades, they have unquestionable talent and a likeability about them that that is top notch. They have no direction and the random silliness is pointless without a pay off.

Braun Strowman vs Roman Reigns

Highlights

Stroman throws Reigns accross the ring like he was a cruiserweight.

Strowman catches Reigns in a spear attempt and powerslams him through the announce table

Crowd chants thank you Strowman after Braun runs him over

Strowman missed a flying splash off the top rope and then ate a spear for the three count

Winner: Roman Reigns via pinfall

Grade: 4 stars

Thoughts

Well son of a bitch. I really wanted to rail on Clark Reigns or should it be Roman Kent? His superman shtick has been going on for three years and there have been so many times that I have critisized him for WWE's insistence on trying to get him to be the new John Cena. No one over the the last three years has been more vocal about their dislike for Roman than I have and even though I don't think he should have won this match I can not for even a second say that he buried Braun Strowman. Strowman was a complete animal and it literally came down to one rookie mistake that the ring veteran capitalized on. My only negative in this match was Clark  Reigns used the cock and loaded every single time he went for the superman punch. 

Woman's Championship Match - Bayley vs Charlotte

Highlights

Winner: Bayley by pinfall

Surprisingly none

Grade: 1 1/4 Stars

Thoughts:

What did this match serve? How do I want to watch Wrestlemania after this? How did two of the best women's wrestlers in the world put on such a horrendous pile of crap? In one horrible decision the WWE bookers decided to end Charlotte's 16 win PPV streak and made Bayley look like a woman that can't win on her own. The only thing that came out of this is the impending heal turn by Sasha.

Universal Championship - Goldberg vs Kevin Owens

Stall tactics by the man who could be the best heel in the business if he's allowed to do more of that.

Winner: Goldberg by pinfall

Grade: Is it possible to give this a negative rating?

Thoughts:

This was a five star performance by KO pre-match and turned into a complete burial of a guy the brand should be building on. And for what? To put over a 50 year old two trick pony from the Monday Night Wars. The WWE has spent the last 6 months making Kevin Owens look like he can't win on his own. They have spent six months turning the prize fighter into a running joke. They did the same thing to Seth Rollins in 2014 but that at least somewhat fit his character. What they have done to Kevin Owens is an embarrassing neutering. They had a chance to get back some of his swagger after ridiculously good mic work the last two weeks and his betrayal of Chris Jericho. Instead they choose to make him look weak and like he can't win without help.

Final Thoughts:

What a horrendous pile of garbage. How can the WWE even slightly feel like this was PPV worthy. The only reason it was watchable was because of all the other content on the WWE Network I get for $9.99. This didn't feel anymore special then a weekly episode of Raw. Too many backstage segments. to many storylines going no where. To many wasted opportunities and bad booking. And way too much burying of top stars to make nostalgia look good. Then when you add into the broadcast, the constant 12 year old bickering by Cory Graves and Byron Saxton. This may be the last time I watch a red brand only PPV.